Following Phoenix

champagne and pineapples

rows of free bottles of booze

The 1st of May.

My ankles are opening

My hips are opening

My chest is opening.

My throat is opening

My third eye is opening..

Everything is unlocking

The phoenix is following me everywhere.

I told you I'd love you forever.

I guess I lied.

Now there's just me.

No.

Now there's me.

Me without you.

That sounds better.

It's so much better this way.

The canal was deserted because it was overflowing.

I walked where I was told not to.

-Excuse me.

I danced where I was told not to walk.

There was rain.

Maybe a couple ducks.

We didn't mind.

My smoke didn't bother anyone there.

And as I straighten up,

I allow my head to feel the sky

and my feet to feel the earth.

My boots have soaked through

So I feel it even more.

The energy just flows from head to toe.

This is my energy

And I use it however I choose.

So I dance.

I dance with it.

Those dudes in tribes,

damn, they had it good...

My bag is filled with cocoa powder

and icing sugar.

I prepared my room for the transition.

Recycled papers from number 4,

Moved the cow to the family,

With the sheep and the goose

I kept the stag where he should stay.

With me.

I feel myself sucking in London more.

Craving heat.

Summer sun...

I've spent enough time in the fall

And I'm excited to lay back in the sand.

Use what I've learned,

And play.

Surfing dreams.

Traveling.

© Anthony Wallace

(Thanks Becca & Ed)

Accepting Old Scars

Learning where I want to be.

The volcano brought so much more good than expected...

People stranded,

Left, right, and centre...

Making new friends with cool people from California,

And feeling that attraction to the sun

That much more.

The time is drawing nearer...

I'm just not ready quite yet...

There's something more here...

London has a few more things to teach me...

Remembering that decision

To be happy in every given moment in my life.

I thought I was crazy then...

Now I've gone to a whole new level...

And am falling in love.

The time has come.

My body as a temple,

Starts now.

After I finish my last slice of pizza.

But seriously.

I choose to cook for myself

and monitor all foreigners entering my mouth.

.

.

.

I do still have to self-mother myself.

I do still have to remind myself that this scar,

this sternum,

this chest,

this torso...

is beautiful....

Sometimes that's hard...

But recently,

more often than not,

it's not.

(Double negatives. What-a-bitch. Thought it sounded good...)

And more than before,

my sternum is aligning.

And with a bit more conscious thought,

This body can finally align...

Ah!

To travel between Paris

London

Milan

California

and New York...

3 months here...

4 there...

Finding it too cold in Vancouver,

So I'll retreat to Spain...

Naw...

I'd rather skip winter this year...

Let's just spend the year in summer.

.

To want is not to be frowned upon.

And, Boy,

I want.

Boy,

I am so looking forward to this...

The air here is warming up.

And as another friend leaves my city,

As I get interviewed for my first magazine,

As I take that extra time to myself

And as I slow down,

conscious of every step

and every thought...

I think,

This is so easy...

Everything is so easy.

Hm...

© Anthony Wallace

(Thanks Becca, James, and Gemma)

Fire = Danger

Fire = Danger.

The skies are bare.

If it weren't for today's clouds,

I'd begin to worry...

With thoughts of gases in the air...

Clear blue skies begin to scare me...

I cannot wait for clear blue skies to be the norm...

But London's fog will always woo me...

Stranded on a deserted island...

Getting sun tans,

Hanging with hipsters in parks

Smiling

and laughing...

Generating more happiness

Because that will save me.

That will save us all...

People are stranded in Thailand

People are stranded in London.

And people are having fun.

They can't work...

They're on honeymoons

and jet-setting leaves them happy.

They're running out of money,

But does that matter?

The company they have is all they want.

The company they have is all they need.

People are stranded on honeymoons...

The world's collective consciousness is growing,

and it's growing with joy.

Sometimes it takes getting lost

To be found...

My body is shielded by cocoa powder

And the world's Monday,

-My Saturday,

awakes with music,

dancing,

and time with my 3-year old self...

He's so much stronger than I ever thought...

But looking after a 3-year old takes a lot of energy...

3-year olds sure can eat a lot...

Judging by the eczema on his elbows,

He's being too hard on himself over this transition...

I'm judging myself too much during this transition...

First step to change is recognition, eh?

People are fleeing to Wales...

London is emptying...

People are scared of living below sea level.

Our world is changing.

Waking from dreams of Grand Canyons filling with ocean

Atlantis in most major cities.

And me in a helicopter...

Helicopter Man.

The most I can do is be the best that I can.

Survival of the fittest, they say...

They predicted the end of the monetary system...

And governments collapsing...

And here I am, getting excited...

Excited about saying I used to live there...

I knew it when it was like this...

So I sing a bit more...

And I realize that I'm not doing this for me

or for you

or for them...

but for something else...

First came the waters.

Then the winds.

The earthquakes.

Then the fire.

They also talked about the birth of the 5th element.

And here I am, getting excited...

(Thanks Gemma, Dex, Morgan, and Edd)

Peter Pan Complex.

First London Fields Picnic of 2010.

Baguettes from L'eau a la bouche,

Fine meats

Fine cheese

Fine friends.

Loving being the man I am

While still being that 3-year old Boy.

Basking in the joy of losing my voice

because I got paid to pretend I was a gladiator.

A Peter Pan complex?

Perhaps.

Glass Darkly's come in many forms.

...I spent the day being transported to being 3.

In the friendliest hospital bed

Watching Alice in Wonderland at least 30 times in under 7 days.

And in this book,

Louise tells me to nurture my 3 year old.

She asks me if I would say he's disgusting for having

eczema on his hands,

Ugly for having a sternum that's not aligned,

Unwanted for not being perfect,

Stupid for not knowing something,

And unloveable for being 'broken'.

Model.

Enjoying the verb.

Not too sure about the noun as of yet...

My eyesight has improved, actually...

Thanks for noticing...

Turns out near-sighted-ness can be fixed by laser eye surgery,

but also by discovering that

focus doesn't need to be achieved through hard work

It's much easier to focus with ease.

Funny how simple things are these days...

Also interesting how my nerves of the future,

what's ahead of me,

things in the distance...

Are quickly melting away...

So I get my first topless photo shoot.

Scars fully exposed.

Stretching.

Opening.

Happy.

Loved.

Bare blue wall.

Skin.

Stubble.

Jaw.

Chest.

My unaligned sternum, naked.

Caring for that 3 year old.

Knowing he's beautiful.

Admiring him happy in his flesh, stretching.

--

A phone call made me realize you're gone.

I hope you're the one Christopher talked about,

Because the mountain of you was hard enough to

conquer.

I know now that I'm strong enough, though...

And parkour keeps reminding me that...

--

Stretching.

Exposing.

Naked.

Skin.

Boy,

Your insecurities are nothing but ladybugs.

Give them a little attention,

And they'll eventually just disappear.

Now, rest!

My Little Prince...

All those issues are but little hurdles-

-Little Pommel Horses,

That just need to be jumped.

But don't jump them unless you know how to-

!- without spraining your ankle, ok...?

-And you know what?

Once you know how to do that well,

you can do it with more efficiency,

more grace,

more strength,

and more sexy-ass focus.

And eventually you'll be able to throw in a few triple flips...

That's hardcore ninja shit right there...

(thanks Jose)

www.scandimaniacs.com - literally almost peed myself with laughter watching this.

See it if you can...

Goodbye Ankle, Hello April 11th.

it's good to have someone.

Running too hard into walls

Will inevitably sprain your ankle...

I learned that the hard way.

I'm a big guy.

I can't get forced to slow down too easily.

I'm glad it was just Parkour that I needed

to be told to slow down and breathe...

Left foot.

Right foot.

My new philosophy.

Discovering

you live 2 seconds from a beautiful Music Hall

As featured in the music video from the previous song?

Priceless.

Want to visit it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrtcMMNxUG8

I never did get around to hanging my laundry...

I was too busy playing with my friends

and making chocolate.

As much as I am actively growing into the man I want to be,

And as much as I am actively growing into the man I'd want to be with,

I sincerely hope I never grow up.

Time alone and off my ankle taught me a lot

Like,

How vital it is to surround myself only

With people who have an open, eager mind.

People who are actively growing

adventurous

courageous

bold

spontaneous

and (Insert vivid verb here).

Ignorance may be bliss,

But it's something I choose to ignore.

The irony isn't funny.

Time alone and off my ankle also taught me

How good a peanut butter, nutella, and banana sandwich is.

You should try to sprain your ankle some time,

It's kinda nice...

(thanks Morgo, Danielle, Becca, Deborah & Anja!)

Proust.

What are you thinking right now?

How satisfying my alone time in the bathroom was.

What makes you laugh?

A good, witty joke that sneaks up and surprises you

AND animated, characterful people.

What makes you cry?

Music, movies, and complicated situations.

What do you consider to be the greatest invention?

Modern conveniences, ex: The iPhone & Skype

Do you have a mentor or inspirational figure who has

guided or influenced you?

Several. My high school acting teacher, my meditation

teacher, my mother, and all my friends.

Where do you feel most at home?

In my bedroom. Wherever that may be. Currently, in the

Leman Lodge, in Leman Manor.

Where are you right now?

At my black glass bistro desk in Leman Manor.

Sweating a lot...

What is your proudest achievement in work?

My own creative work that is still trying to be born...

What is your proudest achievement in life?

Being the man I am today, knowing that I am growing

ever steadily.

AND moving to London.

What do you most dislike about contemporary culture?

Hmmm... How convenient life is made for us, and how

so many people disrespect that through not recycling,

littering, being rude to people working in stores...

Summary: disrespect.

What do you most like about the age we live in?

Convenience! Anything you want at your

fingertips...

At what points do life and work intersect?

Thankfully, there isn't a divide in my world.

What's the best advice you've been given?

By allowing your light to shine, you inspire

others to shine theirs.

What is the biggest risk you've ever taken?

I love the fact that there are so many to choose

from...

moving to London...

doing drugs with a history of heart problems...

swimming near sharks...

flying to Toronto for an audition...

speaking to my father as a man and not as a

son for the first time...

Recommend a book or poem that has changed

your perspective on life.

A New Earth- Eckhart Tolle

You Can Heal Your Life- Louise L. Hay

The Little Prince- Antoine de Saint Exupery

The Alchemist- Paulo Coelho

What is your earliest childhood memory?

eep... I don't know... getting my hand bit by a dog?

3, I think...

Peeing in the corner of the basement so no one

would take my corner in corner tag... 3...

Threatening to drop my sister's cat from the balcony...

3...4?

Watching the fire around Christmas time until my

face turned black...4...?

Singing Supertramp or the Mills Brothers with my

pa in the living room... 4...?

What's the most important relationship in your life?

The one with myself.

What's the most romantic action you've taken?

Hand-sewing a sock doll for my then boyfriend... It was a

cat with mirror eyes... Jeffrey was his name. The cat.

Not the boyfriend.

What's the most spiritual action you've taken?

Connecting psychically with someone I haven't met yet.

If you could wish for one change in the world, what would

it be?

The end of the monetary system.

If you could add one question to this project questionnaire,

what would it be?

What's your favorite color and why?