Hobble Mchobbleson

My muscles ache with transition.

A tenderly stretched chest,

A limping ankle,

And a beard I refuse to shave off.

And here I am.

Smiling.

And here I am.

Crying.

And here I am,

Smiling and Crying

and I don't know why.

Could be that I'm crying because I don't know why I'm so happy

or that I'm laughing because I don't know why I'm crying...

I don't know...

I need a break...

or something to change...

or...

I don't know...

to be content in this moment?

I think a 2 hour meditation class tonight

will be good for my chest,

ankle,

and the inexplainable tears and smiles...

Exhaustion sets in...

Craving sleep at every second.

A warm body to warm up to.

An ice pack,

A massage,

A kiss,

A hug,

A movie,

Dinner in bed...

Yeah...

I should be content with this time on my own.

I should be happy with doing this alone.

And I am.

I love cooking myself a meal.

I love icing my own ankle.

I love me.

But there is nothing wrong with craving hot flesh.

In these debilitating times,

some moments are nicer shared with intimate company...

And it's not that I want someone waiting on me hand and foot.

I don't want that.

I'm rarely sick or injured...

More often than not,

I love cooking a meal for someone else.

I love giving the massages.

I love icing your wounded ankle over and episode of Planet Earth...

But, alas... I cannot enjoy that time with others,

Until I enjoy it with myself first...

I'm hobbling off to meditation now...