Portugal; My Religion.

Portugal.

I guess that the ideas we make

create the conversations we have...

The world is getting clearer...

And as it clears,

Insecurity sets in...

And we're all trying to mask it...

Pretend that it's not there...

I'm even afraid to admit it,

That I don't feel good enough...

Not handsome enough...

Jaw isn't sharp enough,

Body isn't cut enough,

Chest isn't smooth enough,

Voice isn't clear enough,

Eyes aren't focused enough...

The positive side to this situation

Is that I'm humbled

While also made aware that

None of this matters...

What I want is not what I need...

And the most beautiful diamond

Takes the longest time to perfect.

I could find a million cliches

To say what I want to say

To make me feel better.

But in the end,

All you need is faith.

And whatever makes you feel better,

Is your religion...

Portugal...

You opened my eyes,

Relaxed my shoulders,

Massaged my chest,

Hugged me,

Played with me...

Gave me adventure

And filled me with speech.

You loved me,

And I loved you in return...

'The same climate as California',

he says...

I smile.

'I'm going to like living there',

I think...

I swam naked in the ocean

Fed a giant seagull with a broken wing,

Went on a 40k bike ride,

Ate the most beautiful fish of my life...

sea bream,

stone bream,

golden bream,

mackerel,

salmon,

sole...

Fed my soul,

Fell asleep on the sands

Walked to the edge of cliffs...

I gave my body just a taste,

and now I want more...

London is my home,

I will always come back,

But for now,

I'm seeking out other pastures...

Hotter ones.

Understanding the meaning of being thankful

Realizing the power of positivity

Feeling content in this moment of power.

Chris says things are going to start taking off next week...

I can feel it...

Glad I got my holiday in when I got the chance...

(Check out my buddy, Bubbz's band above... they're pretty kickass...)

(Thanks Osei & Sarah)

The Wanderlust Cycle.

Cupcakes.

Chocolates.

And the rivalries between them.

Cupcakes and chocolates...

Whodathunk the two would be synonymous with work?

Icing sugar and cocoa powder everywhere.

Everywhere.

Cleared out old wants as I cleared out the entrance,

And old friends came writing.

Old friends from one cycle ago...

The next cycle has started again.

This week marks the beginning of The Circle.

Last time, we just started being friends...

I had just moved to Vancouver...

We just got a trampoline...

This week I was reunited with the tramp.

We called it a tramp.

1. Because it was so much easier than trampoline.

and 2. Because I thought it was funny to say:

'Wanna jump on my tramp?

We keep it in the backyard.'

Looking forward to The Hermit's passing.

But being on my own is good right now.

I missed cooking...

Amongst all this baking,

I forgot to cook...

Severe case of Wanderlust.

It happens every year without fail.

Usually in the winter.

But this year...

Spring.

Itching for ocean and sand...

sun...

And skin...

Although I know it's because

Something is just around the corner.

My body is craving space

Because it knows it won't have much of it soon.

Things will be getting very busy.

Very soon.

I'm also not ready to leave quite yet...

The thought of missing another Spring

and experiencing another Summer

here in Londontown

Is heartbreaking to me.

One more year will make it an even 5 years.

(Thanks Colin)

Butterfly

After a long Reiki session with my flatmate,

My body is continuously cracking

in areas I never knew could crack.

As the planets trine and align,

so does my body.

Allowing the natural flow of energy through my body.

And that's where the ease is...

The plates of my sternum are shifting,

Just preparing for the full alignment...

My body hasn't been aligned since I was 3,

If this isn't a paradigm shift,

I don't know what is...

My body aches.

Growing pains like I've never felt before...

I crave massage...

touch...

If the world is a reflection of ourselves,

It doesn't surprise me volcanos are erupting,

the earth is shifting,

and the ocean is going mental...

Sounds pretty accurate to me...

What do I want in a relationship?

N/A.

Not Applicable.

California won't just come to me...

So I lay the groundwork down...

Apply for the Green Card Lottery,

Tell my agent to set up interviews and meetings for me

Because I'm going for my preliminary trip

This September.

With luck and some positive thought,

I may miss winter this year...

If not... I can wait until next for that...

The sun is calling me,

Portugal will have to do in the meantime...

I've been very happy in my chrysalis

The Hermit.

Hidden in a cloud of smoke,

Locked away indoors...

Content.

This is when the most complicated work happens.

I'm shedding old skin.

Now ready to go into the world...

Gearing up for something massive...

Content where I am

And excited for what's to come...

(Thanks James)